Series: Totally Lucy: Book 9
By Kelly McKain
Hey, girls! Lucy Jessica Hartley is back!
I’m starting this journal with my cool new fluffy pen, ’cos I have some amazing info to tell
you. You know how your BFF (i.e. Best Friends Forever – which is what me and Jules and Tilda
call ourselves) are the most cool and fab VIPeople in the world? And you know how you usually tend to think you know everything about them ’cos of all the telling secrets you do round the little
doorway at the back of the art room (or wherever it is you guys hang out)? Well, I had the most
incredible REVELATION today that I didn’t know this one big thing about Tilda.
Just in case you don’t know this, Miss Fabby Tilda Van der Zwan has been BFF with me and Jules since she came to our school as a shy new girl. I gave her a makeover to turn her into a
groovy babe and now we are totally a three.
We go round together all the time and when we can we link arms to show our BFFness (this is sometimes difficult, like when you’re walking down the street in town and a big double pushchair is coming towards you, or when you’re trying to all squash through the door of the girls’ toilets at once). One of our hobbies is going into the loos at breaktimes to try out different make-up looks in the mirrors. Unfortunately, they don’t have any power points in there for hair straighteners so we
can’t really do total transformations, especially not while wearing our gross-o-matic school uniforms, which are this vile green colour that I reckon was invented just to make school kids look horrible for, like, 5 days of the week! Anyway, I am going off the point. (If you have read my other
journals you will probably have already noticed I do that a lot, BTW!) (And you will probably also have noticed that I like to write BTW a lot, too, which you probably already know means By The
So anyway, going back to the point, I have found out something about Tilda that made me think, Oh, maybe I do not know absolutely everything about my BFF like I thought, and maybe Tilda has a secret mysterious side that I didn’t know about. I can’t possibly imagine having a secretly mysterious side myself, even though that would be cool, ’cos I always have to tell everyone everything, like, straight away.
Oh, dratification! Mum is calling me down for tea when I have only just started telling you about the secret mysteriosity! I promise to eat fast and carry on writing in here as soon as poss.
It is now after tea, which was fish fingers, beans and chips – YUM!
Okay, so this is how the secret mysterious thing about Tilda was revealed. Jules was meant to be
coming round mine after school like she normally does on Wednesdays ’cos of her dad being at work and her mum taking her little brother and sister (called Benito and Benita – cute or what?!) to
Junior Karate and her older bro JJ having his guitar lesson. (BTW, JJ is not my *HSURC TERCES* any more since fancying him caused a giant attack of CRINGITIS to happen to me when he was a model in my fashion show I put on in aid of charity. In fact, right now I don’t have a *HSURC TERCES* at all – how unusual for me!)
But anyway, today Jules couldn’t come round here ’cos of Mum not being home in time. The reason she was late was ’cos she has recently decided to Grab Life With Both Hands as they
say on TV shows.
She’s left her job working for Mr. Snellerman the Prehistoric Idiot, who thinks she should just make the tea because of being a woman. I mean, like, duh, hasn’t he ever heard of feministic girl power? Everyone knows it started off with some women chaining themselves to a railing in
Victorian times and ended up with groovy chicks marching around professionalistically in clackety
heels running massive companies. Now Mum has got this part-time job in a cool little shop in Sherborne which sells cards and mugs and really expensive soap and stuff. She’s only working there while she’s retraining for a fabulicious career as…
(Drum roll, please!!!)
…a make-up artist!!!
(I know! How cool is that?!)
So she was at her make-up course today in Bristol and she got stuck in traffic on the way home so she asked Mr. Van der Zwan to look after me and Jules, and that’s why we ended up not at mine but at Tilda’s where we have never hung out before.
I know you are right now thinking, But, Lucy, how come you have never hung out there
before seeing as Tilda is your BFF? Okay, well, let me explain.
We have never hung round there before (i.e. not even once!) ’cos Tilda doesn’t offer and me
and Jules don’t ask any more, ’cos she always has some reason why we can’t. I never really minded
anyway ’cos her dad is quite stricty and I thought we wouldn’t be able to make ANY noise or have ANY fun (and there is definitely no Coke or crisps ’cos Tilda isn’t usually allowed them).
Even though Tilda lives in a farmhouse, her dad isn’t a farmer, but instead he is, well, erm, I
don’t exactly know, but most of the time he works from home, and then some days he has to go up
to The London Office, so it’s probably something businessy and important. Tilda and her dad just live together as a two because her mum died when she was very little. Sometimes when I think about that it makes me want to cry ’cos I feel so sorry for Tilda. I just can’t imagine what I’d do without my mum, even if she doesn’t always get me, like when she won’t let me use her Shine and Strength Hair Serum just because it’s £14.99 per tube, even when I have frizz.
When we got to Tilda’s, her dad went back up to his study and Tilda got some OJ for us, and these cereal bars with white chocolate on (I was thinking, Maybe I can just eat the topping and leave the stuck-together-muesli bit).
Jules said, “Shall we go up to your room?” but Tilda was like, “Oh, actually, do you mind if we go in the sitting room instead and watch this show I like?” So we did and Tilda put the TV on and we all squashed together on one of her posh uprighty sofas.
I know I haven’t got to the Mysterious Secret about Tilda yet, but I hope you will manage to put up with me while I just quickly mention something else that happened before the Mysterious Secret was revealed.
Well, the show Tilda liked turned out to be this one called Go Green! that is about looking after the planet and becoming more environmental by recycling your old cans and newspapers and
switching off lights and growing some veggies in your garden so you don’t have to buy ones from
New Zealand or wherever.
Anyway, the presenter on Go Green! is a girl called Aisha, who’s on lots of different
programmes. She’s really cool and has a great sense of fashion and style (which, as you know, is of v. v. massivo interest to me ’cos being a Real Actual Fashion Designer is my life’s ambition). So we were watching this show and Jules was poking my foot with her foot and I was poking her
foot back and scraping the white chocolate topping off the cereal bar with my teeth (and starting to
think how I might have been tricked and how it did in fact not taste like white chocolate but more like yogurt that they have somehow made solid)... so basically we were not concentrating that much
on the programme.
There was this bit though where these kids were in the studio with Aisha talking about this
recycling system they had made for their school. That was when I started having an all-out foot war
with Jules and we fell off the uprighty sofa, but anyway, after the recycling kids went off, Aisha looked at us and said, “Do you want to be on TV?”
Jules stopped lying on the floor with her feet pummelling me and sat up straight, yelling, “Yes, we do!”
I nearly choked on my suspiciously-notwhite-chocolate-coated cereal bar with sudden
concentration, because being on TV would be completely amazing and cool beans. So then us three were all just staring at Aisha. She said, “E-mail us with details of your green project and, you never know, we might invite you onto the show!”
Even though she was just saying it generally to the public, it felt as if she knew exactly what we were thinking and like she had said, “If you, Lucy, Jules and Tilda, have a cool idea for a green project, I want to hear specifically from you three.”
“We are soooooo going in for that!” exclaimed Jules.
Currently unavailable on this website
Hey girls! This is Lucy Jessica Hartley with the most incredible revelation!
Something so totally amazing has happened that I don't know if you will even believe me! Drum roll please... Well, I'm doing an eco-friendly makeover with Jules on Tilda's bedroom to transform it into a gorgeous girly den. And Tilda's so excited that she's even entered our project for her fave planet-saving show Go Green. That means we might be on telly! Eeeekkk! Go green with fashion-queen Lucy Jessica Hartley as mad dads and makeover mishaps stand in the way of her dream designs. Girls everywhere are in love with these diary-style books, crammed full of secrets, notes, and hilarious illustrations.
“"a cool quirky read"”
Kelly McKain worked as a copywriter in an advertising agency and as a primary school teacher before becoming a full time writer. She is now the author of over thirty books for children and teens, including several bestsellers.
Visit www.kellymckain.co.uk to find out more.
Read the following reviews or write one of your own.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS BOOK! It's such a massivo shame that Best Friends Forever is the last book Kelly is writing (boo hoo hoo) I am so reading the WHOLE COLLECTION! xxx to Kelly
Totally Lucy Lurver!
I really like this book and love the ideas as well. I want to be a writer when I am older, and hope to write books as good as this one day. Lucy Jules and Tilda are really cool!
“GO LUCY, JULES AND TILDA!!”
Hey Girls! Lucy is so totally awesome! After I read the first 'Totally Lucy' book I was 'Skipping Through The Tulips'( as Lucy would say!) to find out there was more! PLEASE Kelly write more about Lucy! She is GREAT and it would be great if I ( and all the other girls that enjoy her) could read more! Anyway BYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEE!! Laura 9 AUS
Planet Fashion rocks! In the first month I got it, I read it about three times! Go Lucy! Go Tilda! Go Jules!
“Totally Lucy Books...”
Totally Lucy books are just amazingly fantabulicious! How can Kelly Mckain write such interesting inspirational and exciting books? Totally Lucy lucy books have inspired me to write my own diaries EXACTLY like her! They are the BEST!!!!!
Lucy is like an older version of me because I love fashion designing. All of the books are great and I have got them all except Planet Fashion which I only have just got. Mr. Cain is bonkers saying that fashion is ridiculous, it makes the world spin round!!!
“Totally Lucy rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Oh my gosh! I love every one of the Totally Lucy books! They are soo good. And I wish that Lucy was real! cos she is into everything that I am too! but my life is not as exiting as hers, I mean winning competitions, styling bands, being in a movie, running a fashion show! Wow, I'm getting excited just thinking about it I have read all her books so far all more than 2 times each!
I think Planet Fashion is a awesome book. I was so excited when I found it in the Waterstones bookstore I jumped up and down like Lucy going YESITY-YES-YES!! After I read it I was like WOW. Personally I don`t think Tilda's room was that bad but I think the makeover was great! GOOOO LUCY (and Kelly !)
I LOVE THIS BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How can Mr. Cain say frivolous, ridiculous and rubbish?????!!!!! It sooooooooooooooooooo is not!!!!!!!!!!. In my opinion fashion makes the world go round!!!!
“Go Lucy! You are totally fab!”
Totally Lucy is soooooooo cool. You would have to be MAD not to like her! I hope Kelly McKain will NEVER stop writing them, otherwise I would pulverise her into pulverised deadness.(that is a fraise that Lucy uses!) from, Eli .b. Dunbar
Eli, 11, NSW
“totaly lucy summary”
I love Totally Lucy so much she has such an exciting (imaginary life)lol!I would so luv to know her. Once I brought it to school and I couldn't put it down neither could other girls reading extracts from it! Bye xx
“totally lucy makeover magic”
I think Totally Lucy is a brilliant book once I picked it up I couldn't put it down I finished it at 1.00 in the morning! Anyway I love the book it is soooooooooo cool I wish I could be her friend even tho she is not real. byexxxx