Series: Totally Lucy: Book 6
By Kelly McKain
Saturday the 11th of June, at after-lunch o’clock.
Ssssshhhhhhhh!!!!!! (I will tell you why I am doing shushing in a minute!)
Hi girls! I am starting this new totally secret journal that I got at the Spend and Save ’cos I’ve got a really secret secret and I’m bursting to write about it!
The reason my really secret secret is really really secret is because if Mr. Cain (who is the School Uniform Police) finds out he will kill me into pulverized deadness. So whatever I write in between the covers of this journal is really really secretly secret and only between me and you, so that is why I am going ssssssshhhhhh!!!
Basically what happened is that recently I was in charge of doing the fashion pages for the school mag, with Simon Driscott. You are probably thinking, Eh? because as you know he is not a great choice of Partner in Style because of his lopsided haircut and weird hand signals out of Star Trek and complete failure to understand why he shouldn’t do his tie in a kipper. But in fact what he lacked in Fashion Sense he made up for in Having A Great Camera-ness and Technologicality Skills. Also he had the good ability of listening to me and doing what I said with no arguing, so the fashion shoot all went really well.
Well, the point is that the mag came out just before half-term and everyone thought it was really cool. This girl Gemma from Year 7 kept coming up and asking me for fashion tips, saying, “What should I wear to my baby cousin’s christening, because this yummy boy will be there?” and I was like, “Oh, that is a fashion emergency so I will most definitely help you.” And just when I was thinking about an outfit she could put together I was struck with a flash of Creative Inspiration (I have been getting a lot of those lately). The flash of Creative Inspiration was:
I could set up a club to teach girls how to do makeovers and put outfits together and do accessorizing!
So now I have had more of a think and come up with a cool name for the club, which is:
It will be soooooo fabulicious ’cos we can meet in the loos at lunchtimes, round the corner by the second row of toilets where not many people normally go, and plus we can have field trips like we do for geography only less boring and no one will be forced to wear orange cagools caguels cagoolies cagoules (got it!) and sketch industrial-aged bridges in the rain.
So anyway, I told Jules and Tilda (my two BFF) about Style School. (BFF is short for Best Friends Forever, BTW.) (BTW is short for By The Way, BTW.) They think it is a cool idea and they are going to be my assistants for the first session. In fact they’re coming over v. soon to help with the planning and that.
Then I needed to get some members, so I wrote this secret note and gave it to Gemma to pass on to any girls who might want to come. I have had to disguise my identity in case Mr. Cain finds out, ’cos if he did, well apart from him going completely nuts and his feet boiling in his Sergeant Major boots, something really awful might happen like I could get suspended or even expeliated. Oh, hang on, I think I mean expelled. I am getting mixed up with expeliarmus because Alex (my little bro) is right now reading Harry Potter, and he keeps springing out at me waving one of those giant pencils you buy on holiday that say “A Gift From Clovelly” and trying to turn me into things. He’s got a Snoopy bath towel tied round his neck for a cape, but it’s not very wizard-ish and also it is making his face go a bit red and bulgy, so maybe if I’m feeling nice later on I will run him up some proper robes on my fab sewing machine that Nan, oops I mean Delia, gave me. (She likes to be called Delia, ’cos being called Nan makes her feel old.)
If you absolutely must have a little brother, Alex is quite a good one, I suppose, except he is at that age where he thinks we should have everything absolutely completely the same or it’s not fair, so he is often counting the chips on our plates and then getting me to give him two more or whatever to make it even. He tried to do it with baked beans last night but Mum said that was a bridge too far (or a bean too far, hee hee!).
Plus, he notices absolutely everything and is always going round measuring things in an annoying way that gets me in trouble, like going, “Mu-uu-um, Lucy has used two centimetres of your Special Expensive Colour-Lock Shampoo and I identified her fingermarks in your Wrinkle De-crease Cream which you said she is absolutely not allowed to use.” Obviously I have not got wrinkles yet but it is useful for mixing with powder eyeshadow to get a smooth glide-on paste.
Oh sorry, I have gone off the point. I do that a lot, according to Mum and also according to Jules and Tilda. Talking of Mum, I told her about my Style School inspiration today ’cos obviously I will be taking loads of extra stuff into school for it and she will be wondering why. She thinks it is a fab idea – maybe ’cos she kind of assumed it is an Official School Club like Extended Maths and computer club that they have at lunchtime, and not just something v. secret that I have made up. It’s so unfair ’cos if Mr. Cain found out about Style School he would ban it straight away, but in other schools without a Mr. Cain it would be totally allowed. I decided that it’s probably best to just let Mum think that it is totally allowed in our school too, at least at first. It’s not lying exactly, just sort of not mentioning the whole facts.
Anyway, to go back to the main point, here is a copy of the note I passed to Gemma when I was sitting behind her in Friday assembly. I spelled swapsies wrong in this one so I had to write it again to give out, but it will do for sticking in here
Want to know fashion secrets and get fab new tips for looking great?
Come to Style School, a new secret club, in the girls’ loos (duh, obviously! Like we would try to hold anything in the stinky boys’ ones!) at lunchtime on Monday the 13th at 12.30ish (but don’t all come in a group or Mrs. Stepton will get suspicious and shoo you outside for your Fresh Air And Exercise and you will miss all the fab excitement and secretness!)
Love from Lucy Jessi
Actually I can’t write down my actual name in case Mr. Cain the School Uniform Police (and my arch-enemy) finds out who I am. But I will give you a clue, which is L8PP.
Say the password to get in, which is “Tankini” (if you don’t know what this means then you definitely need to come!).
This message will self-destruct in five seconds.
Okay, no it won’t, so please eat this message after reading. Erm, maybe not, ’cos I want you to pass it on to other girls who might want to come. But remember, it is Top Secret with a capital T and S. Bring fash mags, make-up and hair stuff, and swopees swapsies.
Oh hang on, that’s the door. Well, not that the actual door is going, “Lucy, there’s someone at me!” of course, but the doorbell. Just wanted you to know we are totally ordinary and don’t have a magic door, no matter how much Alex keeps trying to turn it into one with his giant Clovelly pencil.
Anyway, it is most likely Jules and Tilda coming to help me with the Style School stuff, so gotta go!
Currently unavailable on this website
Hey girls! Lucy Jessica Hartley here with a really, really secret secret!!!
I'm setting up a Style School to teach girls how to do makeovers, create fab outfits and even accessorize. It's gonna be sooooo cool. Gotta go and find some top-secret club members! I'm just crossing my fingers that Mr. Cain (aka the school uniform police) doesn't find out - or I'll be in massivo trouble! Byeeeeee! The crazy confessions of very-nearly-teenager Lucy Jessica Hartley as tyrannical teachers, feisty friends and fashion fiascos all stand in the way of her style queen status.
“"Makes you laugh out loud"”
Kelly McKain worked as a copywriter in an advertising agency and as a primary school teacher before becoming a full time writer. She is now the author of over thirty books for children and teens, including several bestsellers.
Visit www.kellymckain.co.uk to find out more.
Read the following reviews or write one of your own.
“A fantastic book”
These have to be the best books I have ever read. I gasp at problems and jump up and down at exiting parts. I will never ever ever get tired of Lucy Jessica Hartleys tales. They are absolutly pure FAB and I hope there are more to come!!!!!!xxx to Kelly McKain
Fantasy Fashion was amazing!!!!!!!!!!! I loved the part when she was trying to get the boy in the park to like her but Hombrito(Jules dog) had doo doo on the boys shoe well that part I felt bad for Lucy. My really really favourite part was the Fashion competition that was great and I can't wait for the other ones to come out too!!!!! You're the best!!!
This book is amazing!!!!!!!!!!!! but I did find it a bit weird when Mr Cain says fashion is FRIVOLOUS and RIDICULOUS and RUBBISH!! because who would not like fashion because it is great!!!! Anyway I think you have a great imagination because TOTALLY LUCY BOOKS are so great and I think you should write more of them! You're the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Star Struck is one of the excellent books that me, Brid and my 2 BFF's have read recently. The story is about a girl called Lucy who loves designing clothes. She is known in school as 'the style queen'. I loved this book. I would recommend this series of books to girls over 11.
Breda & Bríd
I loved this book, it is funny. I can't wait to read the rest of them.
Rebecca E McLachlan Age 9
Best book I've ever read. If you love girly stuff and u love to read then you have to read this book.
Totally Lucy stories are totally wicked! They are fun and easy to read - I just love the journal style! Lucy is a really cool girl who's a bit like me so I can really get into the stories.
“...a cool, quirky read.”
Cathy Cassidy, author of Dizzy, Indigo Blue and Driftwood
“Girls will go totally wild for Totally Lucy!”
Damian Kelleher, Children's Publishing Consultant
“The story was fantastically written and the author got into the mind of a 'very-nearly-teenager' really well. This. Book. Is. Amazing. It has everything a story needs! If you want to read a book filled with fashion, adventure, humour and yes, even cheese sandwiches (See? Told you this book had everything!) then I definitely recommend this book for readers 10+. My rating for the book? 5/5!!”
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